The Aftermath of my Dad's Passing
On August 3rd, 2013, my Dad passed away from Liver Cancer. His passing was the hardest time I have experienced in my life. The intensity of my grief has decreased greatly over time. For the most part, time was the only way my grief lessened.
Doctors had told us that with treatment my Dad could live up to 3 years longer. Imagine my shock when he passed after 4 years. My family was shocked. He was 71 and my friend said that was too young.
I am glad that my Dad lived to see all of his children get married. I am sad that he did not live (in good health) to become a Grandfather. My youngest brother has two daughters now.
In my grief, I was disappointed by some people's reaction to his passing. I am grateful that I did receive support. The volunteer organization I work for gave me a card signed by all the volunteers. The President of the organization came by and told me he wished he could do more for me. This support helped me. One of my friends did not respond at all. Some time later, she did respond with condolences and spoke positively about my Dad and his love for me. That made me feel a lot better.
I am sure that many people are not satisfied with people's responses to their loved ones' passings. Grief is a difficult time and we grievers want support that can make us feel better. People often do not know how to respond to death. They do not mean harm.
I participated in a grief support group on the advice of my Doctor. He was emphatic that I do this. I don't want to discourage anyone from joining one, as it may be helpful, but it didn't help me for the most part. There was at least one time where I felt worse. I did feel better when one of the members expressed anger towards cancer. At that moment I felt validated. She felt the way I did. We were in unity. I was not alone in my anger. To offer some encouragement about joining a grief support group, my overall feeling is that other participants gained from the experience.
For me, the grief has not gone away totally. One of my friends told me this was her experience while I was grieving. There are days when I wish my Dad was still around (in a state of good health). There are times when I think of him and feel sad. I have gotten a lot better and have good memories of my Dad that make me feel good.
He was always honest and very popular. He was a good friend and generous. He was very intelligent and excellent at math (he was an Engineer). I wish I was more like him. My Dad worked hard, taught us well, thought that having kids was the fun of life, travelled the world and towards the end of his life he told my Mom he had no regrets.
I don't know what else to write at this time but I hope I can offer hope for other grievers by talking about how the grief has lessened. I hope you remember the good times you had with your loved ones. Well, now the volunteer I am training needs help so I'm getting off of Blogger. I hope my post is a source of support for grievers.
On August 3rd, 2013, my Dad passed away from Liver Cancer. His passing was the hardest time I have experienced in my life. The intensity of my grief has decreased greatly over time. For the most part, time was the only way my grief lessened.
Doctors had told us that with treatment my Dad could live up to 3 years longer. Imagine my shock when he passed after 4 years. My family was shocked. He was 71 and my friend said that was too young.
I am glad that my Dad lived to see all of his children get married. I am sad that he did not live (in good health) to become a Grandfather. My youngest brother has two daughters now.
In my grief, I was disappointed by some people's reaction to his passing. I am grateful that I did receive support. The volunteer organization I work for gave me a card signed by all the volunteers. The President of the organization came by and told me he wished he could do more for me. This support helped me. One of my friends did not respond at all. Some time later, she did respond with condolences and spoke positively about my Dad and his love for me. That made me feel a lot better.
I am sure that many people are not satisfied with people's responses to their loved ones' passings. Grief is a difficult time and we grievers want support that can make us feel better. People often do not know how to respond to death. They do not mean harm.
I participated in a grief support group on the advice of my Doctor. He was emphatic that I do this. I don't want to discourage anyone from joining one, as it may be helpful, but it didn't help me for the most part. There was at least one time where I felt worse. I did feel better when one of the members expressed anger towards cancer. At that moment I felt validated. She felt the way I did. We were in unity. I was not alone in my anger. To offer some encouragement about joining a grief support group, my overall feeling is that other participants gained from the experience.
For me, the grief has not gone away totally. One of my friends told me this was her experience while I was grieving. There are days when I wish my Dad was still around (in a state of good health). There are times when I think of him and feel sad. I have gotten a lot better and have good memories of my Dad that make me feel good.
He was always honest and very popular. He was a good friend and generous. He was very intelligent and excellent at math (he was an Engineer). I wish I was more like him. My Dad worked hard, taught us well, thought that having kids was the fun of life, travelled the world and towards the end of his life he told my Mom he had no regrets.
I don't know what else to write at this time but I hope I can offer hope for other grievers by talking about how the grief has lessened. I hope you remember the good times you had with your loved ones. Well, now the volunteer I am training needs help so I'm getting off of Blogger. I hope my post is a source of support for grievers.
posted by Evelyn at 11:34 AM
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